Coming Back to the Power of Now | by Kiersten

By Kiersten Mooney on September 20, 2011

I woke up this morning feeling the effects of a short night sleep.  I “seemed” to be groggy and tired.  Then I check my emails to find out that our dear friend who has terminal cancer is on morphine.  To add more onto a “seemingly” groggy sadness, my husband and I had a challenging conversation.  In my feeble attempt to hold it all together, I ended up on the floor in the teacher’s room, having a complete coming-apart – which looked like a total crying meltdown.  One of our cultural principles we practice in our Batiste communities is “being for others” and coincidentally it was our team-building intention set forth for the day.  One of the other senior teachers Mark White sat down with me in the staff room and listened generously to me while I unloaded it all and then some.

He reminded me of the importance to feel the pain I was in.  Once I cleared what was present for me with him, I got clear.  I realized it was possible to create joy, which was my commitment for the day.  In order to bring that forth, I needed to walk through the emotional fire then choose to give up feeling sorry for myself and anticipating the future.  Through the morning  meditation, sharing with my partner and our asana practice I was able to come back to the power and beauty of the now moment.  I felt the support of the entire Baptiste Immersion and the energy lightened and lifted me. Now it seems like I have “JOY”.  I am very grateful to all of you who are here to celebrate our love of this practice and life.

  • Michael Schweppe

    Thanks for sharing Kiersten! Very powerful.

  • Korin Wallace

    Lost my brother in March to terminal cancer. The months that have followed have seen me in the exact same scenario you were in in that moment. How do I take this indescribable pain in my heart and turn it into joy? When I think of it that way it seems impossible. One of the biggest lessons I have learned through my process of grief is I don’t have to transform my pain, when I make the decision to feel it fully it reveals the joy that is naturally underneath. The way to joy is through the pain. I used to suppress all of my emotions. Put on the brave face and press on. I suppressed everything and felt nothing getting farther and farther away from the true happiness I craved. My yoga practice has given me the gift of feeling all that I feel all the time. And as I practice this principle, lasting happiness is becoming more and more attainable. I finally am beginning to understand that happiness is not attainable if I hold on, but is revealed when I feel my feelings and make the conscious choice to let go.